In It to Win It With Pastor Brad Towers

I’ve decided to start a regular feature on this blog called In It to Win It With Pastor Brad Towers. In this section I’ll respond to questions I’ve received. It will sort of be like “Dear Abby” meets Evil Keneival meets Solomon. Here’s the question I’ll be answering today:

Dear Pastor Brad,

What advice would you give to a young leader who is trying to make his mark on the world?

Sincerely,

Trying Hard

Here’s my response:

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Dear Trying Hard,

Trust me friend, I know where you’re coming from. I’ve worn your shoes and felt your pain. I too was once young and naive, thrashing around like a fish in a china shop (I’ve never quite understood that metaphor, but you know where I’m coming from). But now I’ve learned what it takes to be the kind of leader people will never forget.

First, it takes courage. Courage to stand up for your ideas, even when people say they’re dangerous and could result in bodily harm. Courage to wear a gold jumpsuit when everyone is telling you to wear blue. Courage to blaze a new path – sometimes literally using things like gasoline and propane, and sometimes figuratively, using inspirational quotes and pictures of eagles.

Second, it takes persistence. Persistence to pursue your dreams even though people say nasty things to you like, “Maybe that isn’t such a good idea,” or, “Technically that’s not legal.” Persistence to keep going, even when want to throw it all away and join the Navy or a traveling accapella group. Persistence that says, “I just looked fear in the eyes, and fear blinked.”

Finally, it takes courage. Do you think it’s easy to prepare an utterly profound, life-altering sermon every week? Think again pal. Every week I have to sit down at my desk and wrestle with the depths of my soul for at least ten minutes. But when those dark ten minutes are over, I don’t just have a sermon, I have a masterpiece.

I could go on for pages, but that should get you started.

Pursuing the dream,

Pastor Brad

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And now I want to invite the readers to get involved. What advice would you add to my column? What questions would you like to me to answer in future segments of In It to Win It?

You’re A Lover, Not A Hater

I’ve got some good news and some bad news.

First, the good news:

I finished my first sermon in my series on dating that is starting this Sunday. The series is going to be titled “Looking For Luv In All The Wrong Places” and this Sunday’s sermon is titled “You’re A Lover, Not A Hater”. I want to point out my use of the word “Luv” instead of “Love”. That’s a little marketing trick I learned one summer while working at an ice cream stand. People are instantly attracted to intentional, trendy misspellings, like “Phresh”, “Kool”, and “Chyrch”. Tuck that tip away in your back pocket.

The sermon will unfold like this:

INTRO: Clip from the movie You’ve Got Mail, humorously illustrating the joy and sorrows of a relationship, while simultaneously showing that AOL is no longer a good choice for Internet service.

POINT 1: Love, Love Me Do – This point will talk about the universal desire for love. It will draw from a variety of scriptures, and will be illustrated by several Beatles songs and a clip from Planet Earth.

POINT 2: Don’t Hate Me Because I’m Beautiful – Not sure what this point is about yet, but I’m hoping to draw connections to The Lord of the Rings.

POINT 3: True Love – At this point the congregation will be hanging on my every syllable, and I’ll make the point that, contrary to popular opinion, love is a real thing.

That’s it. Yeah, it still needs a little work, but anybody with a beating heart can see that it’s golden.

Now, for the bad news:

Dr. Gary Chapman has decided not to write about my discovery of fear as a love language. I managed to talk to Dr. Chapman on the phone yesterday, and let’s just say that the conversation didn’t go so well. Don’t get me wrong, Dr. Chapman was a super nice guy. I just think he had trouble seeing my point.

Plus, the conversation started on the wrong foot when I said that I loved his book The Five Symbols of Love. Then I got really nervous and tried to break the ice by cracking a joke about wearing leather chaps (a word play off of his last name), but he didn’t really get the joke. By the time I got around to talking about my idea I was so out of sorts that I started referring to him as Barry.

Needless to say, he won’t be writing about the love language of fear.

Should I have done something differently in my conversation with Dr. Chapman?

The Love Language of Fear

You may want to sit down before you read this post. The insight that I’m about to reveal may cause you to collapse out of sheer wonderment and delight.

I was sitting in my office this morning, preparing for my Sunday sermon by sipping on java and playing “Angry Birds” on my iPhone. I find that playing “Angry Birds” often releases my inner creative warrior, which in turn leads to a brilliant sermon. In fact, the best sermon I ever gave, called “Dream A Little Higher, Love A Little Harder”, came after a 23 hour marathon session of “Angry Birds”.

Watching YouTube videos tends to unleash the warrior as well, but it’s tough to play games and watch videos at the same time. I tried it once and ended up dumping a 42 oz. Slurpee on a woman sitting next to me in a bus.

Anyway, as I was playing “Angry Birds” I noticed that some sort of emotion was building up inside my chest, like a wild water buffalo banging around inside me, desperately trying to get out (notice my creative language – that’s the warrior at work). I paused the game and took a brief emotional inventory. What was I feeling? Fear.

Now, it’s possible that this fear was tied to the fact that I accidentally overdrew my bank account by $200 while purchasing iPhone apps, or that I had just polished off my third can of Red Bull, but I don’t think so.

Why? Because the moment the word “fear” entered my mind, I happened to look over to my bookshelf and see the book Five Love Languages sitting on my shelf. I’m not an idiot. Seeing the book wasn’t a coincidence, it was a divine sign.

A sign that fear is actually my love language.

“But wait,” you say. “How can fear be a love language?” Good question.

Have you ever loved someone so much that it was scary? Or, have you ever feared someone so much that you actually loved them? Or, have you ever loved fearing someone? If you answered yes to any of these questions, then it’s quite possible that your primary love language is fear.

I realize that most of you have never thought of this before and need time to process what I just said. That’s okay. I’m a visionary and am used to waiting.

While I’m waiting I’m going to call the guy who wrote the book and fill him in on my discovery. Look for an appendix in the next edition of the book.

Perhaps you would like to talk a bit? What’s your love language? What unleashes your inner creative warrior?

Book Review: Worship Matters by Bob Kauflin

So I just finished reading this book called Worship Matters by a guy named Bob Kauflin, and overall it was a pretty decent book. I think I’ll pass it on to Thad.

But there were definitely some ways the book could have been improved.

First, the book didn’t really address the use of live animals in worship. For example, several years ago I stood in the pulpit with a red tailed falcon on one shoulder and a ferret on the other. In an effort to go cross culture, I was also wearing a full Native American headdress. I was making the point that as Christians we need to be quick like falcons and fast like ferrets, and the people just ate it up. For some reason, Bob didn’t feel the need to address this aspect of worship in his book.

Second, I kept hearing about this thing called “The Regulative Principle”. Initially I thought it was a reference to some sort of intestinal problem common to worship leaders, like the gout or something, but after talking to my buddy Tim I discovered that I was way off! A foldout diagram of some sort would have been helpful.

Third, I was disappointed that Bob didn’t dissect the intersection of technology and the worship space. For example, what if at some point I decide that my church is going to be a multi-site church? Is it appropriate for me to use a computer generated worship leader? What happens to the regulative principle when 3D glasses are involved? Personally, I see a big future in holographic worship leaders.

Finally, and I think this was a huge omission, what about karaoke worship? I think the church is missing a huge opportunity there, and I was bummed that Bob didn’t discuss how his church has incorporated karaoke into the Sunday service. I once met a missionary to Minnesota named Steve and he said that at least 40% of his ministry revolved around karaoke! 40%! I don’t want to miss out on that.

So anyhoo, that’s my take on Worship Matters. Has anyone else read this book?

Sometimes I Just Want To Quit

Bad, bad, bad day today at church. Let me give you the lowlights.

First, Thad the worship leader did NOT come through this morning. Don’t get me wrong, Thad is a great guy and I love him to death, but sometimes he just can’t execute my game plan.

It started when I asked him to learn to play “Thriller” by Michael Jackson on his guitar.

You see, every Sunday I ask guests to stand up so that we can welcome them and give them a free gift (a copy of a book I just self-published – more on that later). I wanted Thad to learn “Thriller” so that he could play it when the guests stood up, thus telling the guests how “thrillered” we were to have them there.

Do you see what I wanted to do? I wanted to use a key piece of culture to bridge the gap between us and the guests. For example, this past Sunday an elderly woman named “Mildred” came to our church for the first time, and I’m pretty sure that she would have been touched by the way we extended the olive branch of culture. But Thad didn’t play the song, and that was the problem.

I was up on stage and said, “And now I want to welcome all our guests. I want to tell you how ‘thrillered’ we are that you’re here.” At that point I’m expecting to hear “Thriller” and Thad starts playing “Lord I Lift Your Name on High”, leaving me hanging high and dry like a monkey up a creek without a friend to lean on.

I approached Thad after church and asked him what happened. According to Thad, he didn’t “feel comfortable” playing Michael Jackson in church.

I was like, “Dude, all things to all people. It’s in the Bible. Don’t you want to obey the Bible?”

Thad said he didn’t think that playing Michael Jackson was appropriate.  I was about to keep arguing when Mrs. Timmons, the 3rd grade Sunday school teacher came to me.

She said that all the grape drink and goldfish crackers for children’s ministry had been replaced with agave juice and organic walnuts. I told her that I had made the change, and that I was trying to spearhead a healthy alternative for the kids because I didn’t want to have their blood on my hands when they got gum disease at age 15.

She simply stared at me. Then she told me that the kids refused to eat the snack and to never make a change like that again. Yikes!

You try to make a few small changes and people have a melt down. Sometimes I just want to quit and be a rockstar or something.

Am I doing something wrong here?

My Dating Series Artwork: A Dove Riding A Vespa

Wow, sometimes you readers absolutely blow me away, which is tough to do. In fact, I’ve only been blown away three times in my life: once at a Stryper concert, once when I gave a sermon (I blew myself away), and today.

Yesterday I said that I needed some artwork that was both trendy and romantic for my upcoming sermon series on dating. Sure enough, someone came through, big time. Check it out: a dove riding a Vespa.

Can you ratchet up the intensity any more? You could try, but I doubt it. This sermon series is going to be big.

By the way, the photo is by someone identifying themselves only as “daughter of Christ“. Thanks friend.

Purpose Driven Dating

I need to do something that will stir up interest in this church, something that will get people’s attention, something that will make people say, “I want that guy to be my pastor, and I’ll do whatever it takes to make it happen.”

I need to do a sermon series on dating.

If there’s one thing that single folks care about, it’s dating. Now, I happen to be married (did I mention that I’m married?) to a wonderful girl named “Tammy” who I usually call “Tam Tam”, so I’m not thinking about dating so much these days. But most single people have a bad case of dating fever along with an ear infection of love.

That’s where I come in.

I’m planning on doing a series called “Purpose Driven Dating for the Wild At Heart”, and it’s going to cover all the hot topics: dating, courting, love languages, everything. I’m thinking it could be a long series, possibly 20-30 sermons depending on what the response is like.

Is anyone out there a graphic designer? Because I could use some help coming up with a series logo. I want a logo that communicates both trendiness and romance. Maybe a dove riding on a Vespa scooter or something like that.

Any other ideas for my series?

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Spread the word on Twitter.

Counseling Twister Style

Some people are born to succeed. They enter this world equipped with such an array of otherworldly gifts that they can’t help but blow the socks off of…well, everything. These people are called prodigies, or geniuses, or Brad Towers.

Point in case?

I’m sitting in my office this morning, sipping on a mocha latte, just getting my general groove on, when, who should step into my office, but Nick Cavalle. Nick is a long-time member of the church and owns his own construction business. I haven’t talked to Nick a whole lot, but from what I hear he’s a great guy who likes to eat meat and potatoes and work on cars. Not exactly my type, but it takes a village to build a church.

I say, “Nick, my man, my brother, my bro-chacho, my hombre, what is happening?”

Nick: “Pastor Brad, I need some help.”

Me: “What is it man? You can tell me. Mi casa es su casa.” (I like to mix culture in with my counseling. I call it “cultured counseling”).

Nick: “I’ve got this big decision to make about my construction business. I have an opportunity to expand into other counties, and even other states, but I’m not sure if it’s the best thing to do. The money would be great but it could be a huge time investment.”

Me: “Nick, I want you to come in here and sit down on this beanbag. This is the counseling beanbag, and you are about to receive a big dose of Brad Towers counseling. Clinical strength.” Nick sits down in the beanbag (leopard pattern if you’re curious) and I reach into my desk.

Me: “I want to show you something Nick, something that is going to help solve your problems. What am I holding in my hand?”

Nick: “A game? Isn’t that called ‘Twister’ or something?”

Me: “Yes Nick, this is Twister. Now I’m going to spread out this game mat on the floor and I want you to stand in the middle of it. I’m going to spin this little dial here and I want you to do exactly what I say.”

Nick: “But I don’t see how…”

Me: “Let’s have less talk and more doing. We learn by doing. Now put your right hand on a blue circle. Good. Now put your left foot on a green circle. Okay, now put you left hand on that yellow circle behind you. Finally, I want you to put your right foot on the red circle above your head.”

By the time I was done, Nick was twisted up like pretzel. I then said, “Nick, how do you feel right now? Tell me honestly.”

Nick: “I feel twisted. This is really stu…”

Me: “Exactly, your body is twisted up, just like your heart is twisted up. This decision is playing ‘twister’ with you. What you need to do is untwist yourself.”

Nick: “You mean now?”

Me: “Now and later. You need to untwist your body right now and untwist your twisted decision later. Take the twist and untwist, that’s the secret.” I took a post-it note and wrote “UNTWIST THE TWIST”. I stuffed it into Nick’s shirt pocket and said, “Come back and see me in three weeks. You’re going to be a changed man. I guarantee.”

Nick left, slightly confused I think, but definitely on the path of clarity. Another life saved and solved by Brad Towers. All in a day’s work.

I’m Beginning to Panic

Okay I am officially wiggin’ out right now.

I told the kids in the youth group that I would arrange a private concert with the band Owl City this Friday night. Then I put up 200 posters around town advertising the concert, and I did fifteen radio promotions as well. I also said that one person could win ten million dollars. Now of course, I don’t have ten million dollars, but that’s why I used the word could instead of will. Kids like subtle word plays like that.

The kids were jazzed, I was jazzed, my mom was jazzed (she is a total Owl City freak) – it was going to be a night that went down in history. Like the night of the Great Chicago Fire, except that this would a concert, not a fire, and people would be really happy, not grief-stricken.

Then I call up the agency that books Owl City and end up talking to this guy named Stuart. I tell Stuart that I’m going to need a concert for this Friday night, and I’m willing to pay the $5oo, or whatever it costs, in cash. Stuart tells me that Owl City is in Germany and doesn’t have an open slot for another six months! I was like, “This is jiggedy jacked up. You’re telling me that it will be six months before I can book Owl City?”

Stuart says, “Yes, and $500 won’t cover the cost.”

Me: “Well how much music can I get for $5oo?”

Stuart: “About 45 seconds.”

Me: “Wait, did I mention that my name was Brad Towers, the Brad Towers?”

At that point Stuart hung up the phone. Whatever Stu, whatever. Your loss.

But now I’m a bit on the stuck side. I can only see one alternative at this point: form my own band called “Owl Town” and put on a performance for the kids.

Sure it won’t be exactly Owl City, but I bet the kids won’t even notice the difference. And what I lack in musical ability I can make up for in sheer energy. Right now I’m rigging up a series of interconnected bungie cords that will allow me to jump 10-30 feet in the air, and I’ve got bids on several personal jetpacks listed on Ebay.

I’m going to call up Stuart and invite him to the show.

Does anyone else have an alternate suggestion?

Youth Group, Meet Owl City!

This Friday night is my first “youth night” as pastor of Ridge View, and I am psyched out of my v-neck.

If there’s one thing I know, it’s youth. I understand them, and I can get inside their heads in ways that only a few very advanced juvenile psychologists have been able to do. Why? Because I was one of them. If you prick me I bleed youth and vitality. I know what makes these kids tick, what makes them get out of bed in the morning.

This Friday night is going to be an extravaganza of general awesomenity for me and seven teens (technically Benny is 12, but we needed another warm body).

I think the evening will be called “The Hour of Power With Big Brad Tower”. I think it captures both the intensity of the night (it’s going to be an hour that is jammed with power), and my charming, yet also slightly overwhelming personality.

I just purchased eight paintball guns, which we’ll take to the local roller skating rink for thirty minutes of adrenaline on wheels.

Then, and this is going to blow the kids away, there’s going to a private concert by Owl City at the roller rink. Just for us. If you don’t know who Owl City is, you might want to consider living somewhere other than a cave. Ha! No seriously, Owl City is awesome, and they’re going to put on an awesome show. I haven’t listened to any of their stuff yet but I’ve heard that it’s mind blowing.

Now, technically I haven’t yet booked Owl City for the concert, but I’m sure that it’s not going to be a problem. I’ll just call the band up, drop a few names (like my own), drop a few Benjamins (street talk for hundred dollar bills), drop a few rhymes to prove that I can do music too, and then set everything up.

It’s going to be a night for the ages. The ages 13-18 to be exact.

Am I forgetting anything? Should I add anything else to this night of wonder?

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Can you help me spread the word about this incredible night?